Festivus 2.0

by chris cunningham

So, blah, blah, blah Saddam was captured. I went to this Festivus 2.0 [LINK] party Saturday night. Which just kicked ass. Way bigger than last years Festivus 1.0. Lots of people I knew and Jay [LINK] had it catered by the Double Dutch Dinette [LINK] in Culver City. Which also kicked ass because he could actually mingle around and enjoy the party. Like a boner though I forgot my camera, which wasn’t so bad because I could hang out and enjoy the party. The food was excellent and as soon as I finished eating something, one of the caterers was there to take my plate. That’s a nice touch. Anyway, back to my first tangent. After the regular dinner I started in on the desserts, such as the strawberry short cake thing, the chocolate short cake thing, the brownies, almond brittle, cookies, etc. So by the time the night was done I was completely high on sugar. I could have probably over turned a car with the amount that was flowing through me. Needless to say I didn’t get to sleep until about 3:00am. Which is not good thing when you wake up at 4:00am from a dream that you’re in Iraq running around a battlefield in an intense firefight. You’d think I would dream of being some hero or something and damning the torpedoes by hurling grenades and shit. Nope, I wasn’t fighting. I was just running around like some chicken shit trying to get the hell out of there. It was like I was in Halo [LINK], but without a gun. What a pussy boy. See, WAY too much sugar. Anyway, I’m drifiting in and out and hear something about Saddam being captured and realize I’ve fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on and a live press conference is on about his capture. Probably the reason I’m dreaming of some nightmarish vacation in Iraq. The first thing I can think of in my haze is, man, Fidel Castro sure has put on the weight. I wake up a little more then thought, shit, this means four more years of George Dubya. Well, that, and is my Iraqi dollar with Saddam’s face on it completely useless now, or worth more? At 4:00 in the morning, somehow money was a priority.