{"id":755,"date":"2007-05-06T22:58:25","date_gmt":"2007-05-07T06:58:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chasethelight.com\/?p=755"},"modified":"2013-04-19T10:39:03","modified_gmt":"2013-04-19T17:39:03","slug":"one-day-they-will-rise-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chasethelight.com\/blog\/one-day-they-will-rise-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Rise Up"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Dear Ms. Elephant,
\nI’m sorry we like to ride you. I know you’re really smart and all, and if you had opposable thumbs and your little tusks back you’d probably beat our silly asses to a pulp. Alas you’re paraded around with hippie flowers even though you’re also the symbol of the republican party. Which really rubs you the wrong way because you really don’t feel represented by their policies being a matriarchal society and all. Also sorry about making you poop in that trash can so we don’t have to pick up after you. It’s just we like to point and laugh and take pictures of you doing that. It must be terribly embarrassing. I know I wouldn’t like it. After a day walking on that hot concrete carrying people around I bet a nice swim in a river would be perfect to take the load off. I hope they provide you a river or deep lake for you to do that. Oh and sorry about that lousy blues band you had to listen to all day. Your poor large ears having to strain through every bad note when you’re better suited for listening to the cracking of twigs from possible predators. Well, I thought I’d say I enjoyed looking at you but think it would be extremely cool if you could get back to your asian home and eat your grass and berries in the wild. I’d love to come visit you there when you get settled into your new forest.<\/p>\n

Your friend,
\nChris<\/p>\n

P.S. You have pretty eyes Ms. Elephant, and I like your little pointy finger at the end of your trunk if you click on your photo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Ms. Elephant, I’m sorry we like to ride you. I know you’re really smart and all, and if you had opposable thumbs and your little tusks back you’d probably beat our silly asses to a pulp. Alas you’re paraded around with hippie flowers even though you’re also the symbol of the republican party. Which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-755","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t