chase the light

If you have ugly hobbit feet, don’t wear open toe shoes. If you still go ahead and wear open toe shoes, your toes must not hang off the front of your them. Yuck. Oh and while I’m at it… Girls? Toe rings. I know they’re all the rage, but toe rings started to be worn by girls who had cute feet. It accentuated their already cute feet. 95% of the population do not have cute feet. If you don’t have nice feet, do not, I repeat, do not wear toe rings no matter how tempting and cute they look on your friends feet. They look cute on your friends feet because their feet are cute. Your feet are ugly. Do not draw any more attention to the fact that your feet are ugly by placing a shiny ring on them. Your boyfriend’s opinion does not count. He is lying. Do not kid yourself. Please. Do us all a favor. Thank you, and I’ll be checking with an extremely condescending eye. I’m serious.