chase the light

The Olympic torch went right down my street and stopped at La Brea Tar Pits. I was floored by the amount of people on the streets around Wilshire and Curson. Thousands. The torch was brought into the Tar Pits where it stayed for about 10 minutes. I didn’t know who was holding the torch until he came around the corner and it was Colby from “Survivor II: Australia”. I got a photo after the ceremony winded down. “Like, oh my God! It’s me and Colby from Survivor!” When did this guy become such a celebrity? I mean, he didn’t even win?! Anyway, he was really very nice, even though I don’t like Texans all that much. At least he’s looking at the camera, while I stare off into space. Then it was off to Universal Citywalk where Arnold Schwarzenegger waited for it. This bonehead (Tom LaBonge – L.A. City Council for the district I live in) pulled the biggest blunder in front of a few thousand people. The woman in the photo is explaining to Tom that she has two kids that nominated her for the torch relay. Well, then Tom turns and yells out to the crowd that she’s a great *wife* and *mother* of two kids who have nominated her for the relay…. blah blah, blah… The look of horror on her face was hilarious as she turns to him and yells above the crowd… “I’m not married…. dude!” She actually called the guy dude! He looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock after that. He feebly back peddled and blurted something out about “single mother” after that. God I hate politicians. I guess the torch was kinda cool to see. I mean it’s just a stupid flame, but they have been keeping this thing lit for quite awhile. I guess that’s something. What I thought was interesting was that if you carry one of the torches, you can purchase it for $350. Of course I immediately thought… EBAY! So I went and looked, and found one for $2200 with 11 hours to go. Not a bad return on investment. All this mayhem about 100 yards from my front door.

When I was a little kid, my Dad drove me and two friends to the Long Beach Arena to see Cheap Trick. It was the “Dream Police” tour, and Moon Martin opened up for them. He absolutely sucked. It was the 3rd concert I had ever attended. Kiss and The Who were the first two. I also saw Aerosmith a long time ago, and they absolutely sucked and I walked out. No Joe Perry either. Flash forward many years later and Cheap Trick and Aerosmith are on the same bill. Cheap Trick, awesome. Aerosmith… awesome-r… On the drive home I was amazed at how close The Forum is to home. Than I realized how close some really bad neighborhoods are to home. What does the photo have to do with Aerosmith? Nothing. We just happened to go Long Beach before the show. We ate at this pizza place that smelled better than it tasted, and verbally solved some of the world’s problems in the few hours we were there. I like Long Beach, but it was seeming very Orange County to me and creeping me out.

Merry friggin’ Christmas and Happy New Year. Now get the hell out. Stripped naked, and left to rot out by the loading docks, the Sony Christmas tree that graced the lobby just days ago has fullfilled it’s earthly duties. I hope all ex-employees aren’t treated this way.

Went to the “Black Hawk Down” screening tonight at the Mann Village Theater. Jerry Bruckheimer, [LINK] the producer of “Coyote Ugly” and some other films you may have heard of, and Ridley Scott, [LINK] the director of “G.I. Jane” and other films you may have heard of, were on hand to talk about the film, and field some questions. Did I like it? Not really. I probably won’t ever see it again. Why would I want to sit through it again? Ridley kept shutting his eyes when I took pictures of him. You’d think he’d know better, being a big time director and all. That’s Bruckheimer in the back. I think he’s a known asshole. I hope he doesn’t read this, I’ll never work in this town again. I like “The Amazing Race” though.

I’m freezing, tired, yet amped up on enough sugar to choke a cow. Me and 1,000,000+ people along 5 1/2 miles of road. Here’s my slice of the pie. That’s one busy photo. After last night I’m tired of people touching me. The front row seats are cool though. Sleep is overrated, I keep telling myself. A Stealth Bomber supposedly flew over the parade. I couldn’t see it, so I just pointed my camera at the sky and hoped for the best. Where is it? I could hear it. Now that’s stealthy! Every year that I’ve gone to the parade I end up with way too many tuba photos. Tuba’s make great photographs. I’ve never shot a bad tuba photo. They’re very photogenic. Regis is waved at me! I was so excited I couldn’t hold the camera still… right. So, what’s the big deal with him? Post parade, we all cattled back to our cars along with Jesus, cancer therapies and tires. Happy New Year.

New Years Eve. At 5:00pm we’re sitting in a Sports Chalet in L.A. trying on new snowboarding clothing, by 6:30pm we’re deep in the throngs of Disneyland. With shiny new annual passes in our pockets, Jill and I head over to California Adventure with some unwarranted skepticism. The next thing ya know we’re soaring over the Alps in a hang glider and sporting big silly grins. Life is cool like that. At Disneyland til 2:00am, soaking wet from Splash Mountain, I’m freezing, concerns of broken feet, a Rose Parade only 4 hours away, it’s an ugly sight. Someone isn’t going to make it…

It’s only across the street, yet it took me nearly 6 months to go to Peterson Automotive Museum to see the “Cars and Guitars” exhibit. It was also the last day it was open. Me and my best friend Procrastination went. Herbie “THE” Lovebug was there. Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher car was there. I was hot for teacher once. Tina Geller, health class, sophomore year, she was 24, I was 15. Meow. The “Hey, hey we’re The Monkees…” was on display. I just now realized The Monkees, changed the spelling of their name from monkey. Kinda like The Beatles, aren’t The Beetles. Um, duh. Only took me like 35 years to figure that one out. The Joplin Porsche was also there. I love Janis. I love that Porsche. I’d be into buying this if my Shrek bonus had been a wee bit bigger. Ok, a lot bigger. Oh, and the friggin’ Mach 5! Nice. I loved “The Great Race” car and the movie was one of my favorites as a kid. I saw it recently and realized it’s about two hours too long and kinda silly. Never revisit films that you absolutely “loved” as a kid. You did have the mind of an adolescent, so inevitably you find yourself asking “…what did I see in this movie?” I’ve started to believe that I might have been a dumb kid. The Batmobile looks like crap in person. It’s all plasticy looking. Not menacing. Thumbs down. The Hendrix guitar was there. The Hendrix “I’m going to torch my Strat on stage at the Monterey Pop Festival” guitar. Yeah, that guitar. After the show it ended up in Frank Zappa’s hands and is now in the Zappa estate. It has a new left handed head stock to make it look like Hendrix’s, but it can now be played right handed. The melted pickguard was also replaced. Is there a more famous picture of a guitar?? And the just plain silly looking guitar of Van Halen. Could it be any more 80’s looking. Stick a Nagel painting behind it and you’ve got something. In the ad Eddie even has a cigarette stuck in the neck of guitar. “Hey kids, be just like me! Be a rockstar, play Kramer guitars, and smoke. Only, now that I’m dying of cancer, that might not be such a good idea.” It can be seen in the “Panama” video. Not the one in the ad, the one in the case is in the video.

The peeps home. Where is everybody? Come on, let’s eat and open presents already!?

“Just take the subway to…” Never thought I’d hear that in L.A. George was in town for the holidays from New Zealand. We hopped the Metrorail from Hollywood Blvd. over to Universal City to see “The Lord of the Rings”. It was playing on the IMAX screen. I’m now a fan of L.A.’s subway. It’s weird though, the whole thing is on the honor system. You buy a ticket, but there are no gates or ticket takers anywhere. There is a huge fine though if you can’t produce a ticket. It cost about three bucks for a round trip. In the parking lot of Hollywood and Highland was an original Humvee. How Volkswagen ever had the guts to manufacture this car I’ll never know. I’m thinking it kinda suits me though, it’s just the right amount of chic, geek and simplicity on four wheels. This car would absolutely kick ass if it was painted with zebra stripes.

The bookends of my day. 8:30am morning dailies to see the film from the previous nights filmout, and what I think most nights are like driving home. A blurry streaky 10 to 15 minutes. Just a rat on his squeaky wheel during the week. Tired, hungry, and a four day weekend ahead with no big plans.

How to completely negate the aerodynamic benefits of a Bug. Although all cars should have topiary on top of them. The world might be a better place. Tonight was a holiday party at Friend Chris and Andrea’s. Know how some people collect Star Wars action figures? I collect blonde women. Mandy, Janel, Jennifer, Andrea, and Brandy. Blondes that didn’t make the photo… Jenny and Winnie. The lone brunette rolled her eyes. Brandy and the Supremes showing off. Brandy’s on a collision course with stardom. You heard it here first.

Tonight was Tenacious D and Spinal Tap at the House of Blues. Just getting there turned into an interesting chore. It started raining sooooo hard that we couldn’t get out of the parking structure. I think this is my new favorite photo. You can actually see the rain twisting in the wind as it streaks down between the buildings. Cars on La Cienega were skidding downhill trying to get up the steep part near Sunset. Thundercracks too. No wonder the car wash was closed earlier today. Now it all makes since. The House of Blues never lets you bring cameras, so here’s the marquee. The show? Hilarious. Spinal Tap came out and opened with Heavy Duty, they also did Stonehenge, Christmas with the Devil, Listen to the Flower People, etc… Pretty much all the Tap favorites. They even threw in a bit of Jazz Odyssey. Christopher Guest, Michael McKeon, and Harry Shearer plus drummer #14. Unlucky drummer #13 didn’t last very long according to them. Then came the “D”. Amazing. Jack Black is so funny. They opened with the theme from “Flash Gordon” by Queen and went straight into “Wonder Boy”. They also did “Kyle Took a Bullet for Me” They also did a short tribute to Ronnie James Dio and the song about the road. They even showed the video of Jack Black trying to hand out blowjobs on the street only to get picked up by Kyle. The whole place was on the floor laughing after that. For the encore, Spinal Tap came back out, along with many others, and did “Big Bottom”. Twenty people were on stage, 11 of them playing bass. Good stuff.

The office party was at Gotham Hall on the 3rd Street Promenade. Of course no one’s allowed to bring guests, so it’s not really fun to mingle with everybody you already work with. The guacamole was so spicy I had to run to the bar and beg for a bottled water. Seeing your fellow employees dance is never a good thing. You see them in a whole new light while at work. I left, it was lame. Jeez, kinda cranky.

Before going to see “The Majestic”, and an after movie trip to Jerry’s Famous Deli for dessert, we headed up to The Getty museum for a look around. It turned into a sampler platter of art and views because of the lack of time, but vowed to come back some day when it’s warmer. Bouguereau’s “Girl Defending Herself against Love” was on display finally! The Rembrandt too, of course. My photographic assistant for the evening was Jill. Little would you know she’s freezing her ass off, and as I would find out later, on the verge of vomiting. These are amazingly accurate photos of what the view looked like tonight. Except for the small detail that it’s freezing ass cold outside. I’m talkin’ jump up and down cold. Catalina was clearer than I have ever seen it in my life. In fact it looked like an extention of Palos Verdes. Are the clouds on vacation or something? Because now that I think of it, I haven’t seen any for days. Down below the Getty the 405 freeway never seems to stop. After the Getty it was off to “The Majestic”, bootlegging burritos, hands and footprints, and the annoying loud chick at Jerry’s Famous Deli that came with dessert. (Oh my God, that brownie dessert is soooo good…..)

Took off Sunday to Vegas for Charles and Lisa’s Wedding. We all stayed at the Paris Hotel and ate, and ate, and ate, and gambled, and gambled, and gambled… I caught a cold. There were a shit load of cowboys in town too. The National Rodeo finals were going on and when there’s a whole bunch of cowboys standing around, it looks really rediculous. One cowboy. Not so bad. Hundreds of cowboys. Bizarre. I couldn’t even tell them apart. Jeans are too tight, buckles too big, boots too pointy, accent to thick, girlfriend’s hair too high… Vegas was a 2 day blur. Also ate at two of the best restaurants in the U.S. Picasso (it’s in the film Ocean’s Eleven) at the Bellagio, and Commander’s Palace [LINK] at the Aladdin. The best meal I’ve ever had. An Elvis impersonator that looked an awful lot like Jerry Seinfeld hosted the wedding festivities and it was mind blowingly surreal. “Viva Las Vegas” movie file below. I totally loved all 16 minutes of the wedding. Fun stuff. Everything I ever thought a Vegas wedding would be.

Hungry, I ran to the Beverly Center for some food. Specifically, Rubios. As I was eating on the rooftop dining area I noticed the Park La Brea towers and realized I live downtown. I didn’t know that. Congratulations also go out to the Beverly Center for winning the “Ugliest Ass Santa Meet and Greet Ever”. What stupid elf in mall management thought that this was an attractive display? Good God, it’s horrifying. The two meeting Santa have been stunned silent.

Ya know, that song seemed so quaint many years ago. Even though I could probably sing along with the whole song I never really knew the lyrics. Now I get it. It’s all about the Australian mystique wherever you are in the world. On that note I’m off to Queensland, Australia for Thanksgiving. Hopefully some of that will rub off on me. Peruse the gallery of my first trip to Australia. 87 degrees, and that’s the water. I went. I saw. I splashed around. Sit in your sad little office and wish you had gone. Bwa ha ha ha….

The amazing “Worms Union”. Fire dancers, topless girls, ethereal music, and general mayhem. That’s the makeup of this art collective from Long Beach. They had played at the Voodoo music festival in New Orleans, so I traveled to the land of Nod, Long Beach, and caught a home town show. I never thought glow in the dark alien heads could be so spooky. There were more than a few jaws that hit the floor as the band, six drummers, 4 topless dancers, 2 fire dancers, and a guy on stilts all fired up at once from out in the audience. All this at a bowling alley.

After all day at the festival and a long wait for a cab last night we awoke late and walked around the Quarter for a bit. Keith and Kyle visited a fairly small internet cafe and the guy next to them was quite busy downloading gay porn. For the whole weekend’s festivities, including lame running commentary, check out the gallery.