Behold The Awesomeness

by chris cunningham

“If we build it they will come”. -The Druids

This morning headed out early to hit Windsor Castle, Stonehenge and Bath. A trifecta of tourism. It was way early and I’m bleary eyed right now writing this at midnight. I’ll skip most of Windsor Castle as it was a bit of a bore really. I think I’ve hit my castle quota for my lifetime. The Queen was there though. Doing Queenly stuff I suppose. Not being into the royalty thing much I still think it would be fun to sit down with her and chat, go to the movies, or you know, bake some brownies with her or something. This week are the Ascot Races so she’s entertaining people so who knows maybe I’ll get the call. In the hotel room in one of the drawers someone scratched, “God Shave the Queen!” Indeed, God Shave the Queen!

After Windsor we left for Stonehenge and it didn’t disappoint. It rocks! No wait, it is rocks! Rad! I love rocks! Rawk! I still cannot separate Stonehenge from Spinal Tap though, or even Hawkwind for that matter. The best was that it’s the Summer Solstice so there are actual modern day Druids out there worshipping!!! OMG! What? Shut up! The day we go there are actual druids in the center of the stones? I’ve died and gone to earth, wind and fire heaven! The druids are coming! The druids are coming! It was just too exciting! Ha ha ha ha!! I mean, who knew there were still people doing druidy stuff? I’ve got to tell Greg, he’ll be so jealous. Where do druid covens meet? The pub? And some even had dreadlocks! It was funny but one tour guide was all respectful saying “…they do their worshipping here during the summer solstice, blah blah blah…” Another tour guide was all, “yeah a bunch of hippies out there runnin’ around”. Ha ha! Guess it’s where you’re coming from on how you perceive them.

They were all decked out in flowing white robes and placing a wreath like thing on each others head and being very quiet. There was a guy in gold and their little frocks would occasionally billow up like Marilyn Monroe and expose their jeans and sneakers! One was barefoot, she had it right in my mind. They know who built it, they also know how they built it, but they don’t know why they built it. Then of course they provide all these explanations about the sun and the moon and all I could think was those theories seem so complicated. I’m thinkin’ mixed media sculpture installation by the local druid artist of the time.

So inspired by Stonehenge, I created my own masterpiece… Behold Fudgehenge! Come all you Druids in flowing white robes, my house, party, eat the Henge! Fudgehenge won’t last as long as Stonehenge so get there early! I also couldn’t do without Snowglobehenge which will now sit proudly next to my monitor at work. It was all about Stonehenge today.

Oh yeah, and it was nice of them to build it so close to the highway. I mean, that’s some pretty forward thinking Druids.