chase the light

The moment I took this photo I was in Pirate Hell. So there are these theme restaurants that are the breeding grounds of the Devil himself. I agreed to go to one to see if it is truly awful. Well, it’s truly awful. Ha ha! The latest is this pirate themed one and I have no experience with the other themed ones like Medieval Times, but they all must completely suck if they’re like this. A few weeks back friend Rachel called me up and said a small group was going to try this new one out and at the very least it might be some kitchy fun. So without much thought I said yeah I’m in.

So we meet up, you go in and have to mingle about in this confined bar/appetizer station/gift shop area for about an hour and be annoyed by all these people that are so into it they also come dressed up as pirates. Ed. note: I really was going to try and let down my guard and have a good time! But already with the “aarrrrring” and the “aye aye mateys” it was just too much to handle! So I buy my $14 drink with pirate souvenir cup and start to mingle around. It’s self billed as “The Most Interactive Dinner Show in the World”. Ya know what, I should have known right there I’d be miserable. Ha ha ha! Dinner and interactive don’t always go together. Especially if pirates are involved. Just let me eat in the peace and quiet of the darkness and watch the show you damn pirates!

We have seats in the yellow section and finally our yellow pirate shows up with his yellow flag, we show our yellow cards, he leads us to our yellow seats and there’s a sad looking limp salad waiting for us. Which fortunately wasn’t yellow. After a little wait the show starts and it’s pretty bad right out of the gate! Who knew it was some third rate broadway musical type show with lousy tunes and horrible looking 70’s rock band looking pirates? We were all having a good laugh at how bad it was and trying to think of elegant ways to explain this to our friends later. They also brought our food which was a piece of chicken and beef or shrimp.

The story was something along the lines of six pirates, a captain, a first mate, a wenchy wife, a princess and a gypsy girl. Oh, and some other dude who fell in the water and escaped. The captain (Captain Black) needs a new first mate so a series of contests are held and our yellow pirate just suuuuucked! The whole show he never won anything so we just booed our own pirate all night. Besides that, in his yellow and black he looked like a dumbass bumblebee flying around on the ropes and planks. Stupid yellow pirate! The captain and his wenchy wife’s son is blue pirate. Somewhere along the line blue pirate falls in love with the princess (in white) and the all the other colored pirates finally see the captain is kind of an ass and all fight for her hand in marriage. At some point they all scatter and the princess is about to be shot and blue pirate comes back and saves the day. He brought Redcoats with him (what?) and they attacked the ship and Captain Black and wenchy wife were shackeled up and hauled off. Need to mention that crowds of people were recruited from the audience to be extra pirates and Redcoats and such. The End.

After the show we all commiserated out front and laughing at the horrible spectacle we just saw. So, the Pirate Adventure dinner thingy in Buena Park. Um, yeeeeah… if you have some dental work that needs to be done I’d look into that first. Damn, and I really wanted this to be fun! Probably just best for the kiddies.