Lard Of The Rings: Return Of The King

by chris cunningham

Clocking in at a hefty 3.5 hours. It’s either a marathon session of holding back pee, or not drinking and having cotton mouth. In Titanic, there’s a nice lull after after the sex scene in the car. That’s a good bathroom break time for that film. I was determined to sit this one through. No water, no soda’s for 3 hours prior to the film, but I would take in a 20oz. bottle to sip on. That would hopefully be enough to last me, but not fill me. I must make it.

I didn’t make it. And there you have it, the trilogy is complete. Kinda liked it. I still like “Two Towers” better. This one needs a lot of editing as it’s very clunky. The effects inside Mt. Doom are what ruined the ending for me. Gollum looked rediculous, and I found myself kinda laughing. The big climax of an 11 hour epic and I’m snickering? Uh oh. The rest was great, but what a bummer. Although there’ll be no touching it for winning the award this year. An Oscar Three-peat for effects. Horhay [LINK] sent me an image that some artists’ parent took of the screen of his daughter’s credit. It also contained his credit. Makin’ parents proud, and happy that the college tuition investment worked out.