chase the light

Although celebrated much more as an excuse to have a party than anything else, Cinco de Mayo really is just a way to celebrate the great American pastime of cursing the French! Official disclaimer: I really like the French, I will be visiting your country next month so please have your nutella crepes ready.

It’s really a celebration about “taking one step forward”. Just ignore the two, three or four steps back part or the glass is 1/8th full.

See, in the mid 1800’s there was a dictator in power in Mexico and the U.S. didn’t like him (what’s new?). Mexico also had its northern territories which included California, Arizona, New Mexico. Around this time Texas decided it wanted to become independant and it did by winning a “conflict” with Mexico. Then they applied for statehood with the U.S. and we sent troops to Texas to secure it. Mexico got mad and war erupted with the U.S. where we supposedly kicked their ass. Then with the Treaty of Guadalupe we, eh hem, “bought” the northern territories for $15 million which also included Nevada, Utah, and Colorado. Um yeeeah, buying land when you just defeated them in a war is always a fair deal. Then there was a bit about a civil war in Mexico. Liberals vs. Conservatives kinda thing and the liberals won. Kinda like what happened in the States.

Then Spain, England, and France decided to collect some debt over some pastries and sailed over to collect payments but Mexico was bankrupt. Mexico asked for a couple years of non-payment before resuming paying in full. Spain and England went home, but Napoleon knowing that the U.S. was in civil war thought it would be a good foot hold in the area. So in he went and started to take over the country. French forces got to Puebla and had their asses handed to them by General Zaragoza and his rag tag army. This battle is what Cinco de Mayo is about. Of course Mexico eventually fell to the French forces, but let’s not concern ourselves with that part and move on, shall we? They won the battle but lost the war.

Mexico was then ruled by France for a bit until Napoleon got bored. Then Mexico decided it didn’t really like who Napoleon had put in charge as Emporer and executed him. President Ju?ɬ°rez had kept the federal government going even during the French “intervention”. So now they were the Mexico as known in their modern state. Albeit quite a bit smaller than 20 years previous.

So really Cinco de Mayo is about looking on the bright side of life! ONE STEP FORWARD!… um er… two steps back… And that’s why we’re standing on a balcony in Culver City, California eating tacos and drinking alcohol. Because General Zaragoza and Benito Ju?ɬ°rez would have wanted that way. We owe it to them. Curse the French!

Other bright side of life moments…
“Sure I lost a hand in a farming accident, but I still got my dog Boo.”
“Yes I was born with a parasitic twins leg hanging out my abdomen, but I get paid really well by the circus.”
“Wrapping my car around that tree after a night of drinking allowed me to stay rent free in the local jail. Even got food.”
“I might be the ugliest fish alive and live 3,000 feet below the surface of the ocean, but I’ve got a cool lighbulb on my head.”