Imageworks Ski Trip To Mammoth

by chris cunningham

On the road with Sony’s 4th annual ski trip. Sometimes there’s nothing like watching the world go by the window. All cameras should have a function where you can only shoot photos the hour or two during sunset. I’m sitting with 50 other people on a bus to L.A. and they’re watching a movie. “The Royal Tenenbaums”. I’m watching this, making my own movie, and it’s much more interesting. At 5:00pm Friday we boarded the buses for Mammoth right outside of Imageworks. My brand new used snowboard is packed and ready to kill me as soon as I get on it.

The dinner stop was in Mojave. The choice was either Carl’s Jr. or Wendy’s. My choice would have been of course, Carl’s. I love Carl’s, but as the voting slid towards Wendy’s I started having to rethink my dinner choices. I forgot how crappy Wendy’s really is. Blech. That square triple burger is enough to make me sick looking at the photo. It’s like a cinderblock of meat on bread. Jill deciding, Kenji decided, Sarah telling Kenji what he’s decided. I choked down a chicken sandwich and quite happily enjoyed the chocolate frosty. Ok, so those are good. Numbered dinners suck. “I’ll have the #7”. That’s lame. Have you ever done the math on those things? Most of the time you save about a quarter. Michelle came running inside freaking out that the buses were leaving. So we all scurried back. Nothing worse than being stuck in Mojave.

We stayed at The Juniper Springs Lodge, where Kenji managed to be the only one to get a hand outside his pockets to wave for a picture. Jill and Sarah could only muster smiles as they grit through their teeth and mumble about how damn cold it is. A post snowboard wipeout Jill was hiding her pain behind that smile. After a day of boarding we headed over to the sushi joint. I don’t typically do sushi. Insert long winded explanation on why sushi sucks here. The look on Dave Tanner’s face was hilarious as he found out I would be going to the sushi restaurant with everyone. Especially after a few of our conversations on the subject. The first thing he muttered was “What are you going to eat.” I said “something with chicken hopefully”. Ok, I also have a beef with chopsticks. First off I don’t use them. I mean, I know how to use them, I just don’t. My guess is that they’ve been around for thousands of years, whereas the fork is probably a more recent invention. I revere the fork. I mean, to me its the perfect example of someone finally saying “I can’t take it anymore! Enough of this crap, we need something way more efficient than two sticks of wood to eat food with, aaarrrrggghh….” And the rest is history. Unless something better comes along, I’m using a fork. Just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s efficient. The sushi was a little fleshy looking if you know what I mean. Dave’s hair after a day of skiing, looked quite remarkably like his meal.

After a day of wearing a beanie your hair doesn’t do glamour. Of course we shot some photos and it’s never a good thing when someone takes a photo of you and starts laughing hysterically and showing it off to everyone. So after it was all over the buses get in at 9:15pm, and we joked about being able to get to bed before 10:00pm. I bet you’ve figured out that didn’t happen. I dropped Jill off at home and about 45 minutes later I get a call wondering where the nearest hospital is. Thank God I’d only collapsed on the couch at that point. Not being life threatening I’m thinking, cool, an adventure to the ER. Off to Cedars Sinai we go, and she goes into triage and then she’s off to get fully checked out. I recognize the nurse behind the counter from Julyan’s wedding. It’s Kendra. Not being absolutely positive I just go sit down in the corner and wait. Just then a cab pulls up and some really strange cat gets out and checks in at the desk. He’s looking really haggered. So of course he decides to sit down right next to me. At first nothing, then suddenly the overwhelming smell of shit hits me. Finally I manuever a little and notice his whole pantleg and shoe is covered in shit. I’m talking human feces. How do I know? You just do, trust me. I suddenly realize I have to go to the car for something. At least that’s what’s in my head. So I walk outside and the cab is there, and Kendra the nurse is telling the cabbie, “I don’t mean to be a bitch, but we’re not paying you for that man’s cab ride.” I notice the cab has a $20 fare on the meter. This guy came a long way. It takes about twenty bucks to get to the airport. Then the cabbie gets out of the car all pissed off, and goes to confront the guy. He’s disappeared into the restroom. Hopefully to wash up. The cabbie leaves in a huff. The guy comes out after about 15 minutes, the water running the whole time, and he still has shit all over him! What the hell did he do in there? I decided to stay outside. I’d only go back inside if a gunshot victim came in. ER’s are fun in a sick and twisted way. It’s my guess that all nurses have a very black sense of humor. I’ll have to ask Julyan. 12:05am Jill leaves the Emergency Room at Cedars Sinai in a splint. It’s not broken. I guess a ski trip isn’t really successful unless you end up at the ER. All that for $160 bucks. What a bargain. Yeah, she’ll be gimper for awhile.