Random London Wanderings
by chris cunningham
Things I learned today; Beefeaters really did eat beef, police “Bobbies” got their name from police chief “Robert”, I was just thinking fortunately the guy’s name wasn’t Richard, Guy Fawkes real name was Guido Fawkes, Henry the VIII was pretty much an idiot, the night England is playing in a World Cup Match is a really good time to do ANYTHING you want in the city without a line, like walking straight onto the London Eye, that same London Eye is not for the claustrophobic, the Thames still has eels as I saw a bird eating one, I still laugh at the unfortunate street named “Cockspur”, I just laughed having to write that, I’m still occasional juvenile, pound for pound Harrod’s hires the most insanely beautiful women, I kind of miss all the dirty vermin pigeon’s at Trafalger Square, The Star of India might be a good place to eat but it certainly doesn’t open at 5pm, Tootsie’s down the same street on Old Brompton Rd. does, if your boat needs the Tower Bridge to open up to go through it’s free of charge but you have to give them 24 hours notice and be there at your scheduled time, architecture students aren’t necessarily good at creating installation pieces, and being on a time clock that is 8 hours out of whack to the local time you can feel like a rock star by staying up until 4am.
Got up this morning and had breakfast at a little cafe along Regent street that has the most insane looking chocolate cakes in the window. One sugar coma to go please! Yum! After breakfast we walked over to the half price ticket kiosk to see about Spamalot tickets but it had already left a few months ago. Guess we were looking at an old brochure. Damn you concierge! I was all excited once I had gotten that in my head about going! Afterwards we hopped a bus to Westmonster (ooops funny typo) to pick up the boat along the Thames to the Tower of London. It really is a pretty fascinating place even though it’s a 9 on the touristy scale. It’s the equivalent of Alcatraz prison in San Francisco. Been to it before but it’s a nice with all the beheadings and all. I bought a marshmallow stick with a guard on it. Which I ate in front of an actual guard and bit his head off and lined it up for a photo. I was laughing to much to actually get steady a shot of it. Roll over below.
Afterwards we had about an hour to kill so we headed over and wandered through Harrod’s and shopped a bit. No I didn’t buy a Maybach, or a shar pei dog, or $50k watch, but they did have a Krispy Kreme in the food area. Which I also didn’t indulge in. Seriously, Harrod’s hires nothing but beautiful women. I think they might be robots built in a factory. Then down on the 1st floor is the Dodi and Princess Diana tribute or something. Not to make light of the whole thing but… hmmm… yeah I can’t think of anything funny to say. It’s kinda on it’s own plain really.
Spent a few hours there and then made our way a few stops down to the Chelsea area for dinner. Totally screwed up the Tube stop in my head and ended up at Earl’s Court where we saw that the “Bodies” exhibit we had both missed in L.A. was going on. Inquired about tickets for tomorrow and we’re in! So can’t wait as I was bummed I missed it when it was on back home. Bit of serendipity in the plans on that.
After getting my bearings I got us over The Star of India, which was closed!? It’s 5pm!? Completely dark inside and no sign of opening soon. Oh well, just walked into a place on Brompton called Tootsie’s. Had some chicken. Oh, and a milkshake. Which nobody outside the States gets right. Ah, the lowly sublime milkshake that is apparently hard to make.
Then off to The London Eye where there was no line whatsoever! Basically a giant Ferris Wheel with Hamster Balls attached to it. Good views!
Jill headed back to the hotel and I took of for what was described as “…part of the London Architecture Biennale, students from the Architectural Association imagine the Scoop as as an extension of the river, strengthening its watery associations with a horizontal floating screen upon which films speculating on river and the theme of change, are projected.” Artistic descriptions crack me me up. I want to walk into a gallery some day and see an artists’ statement that reads, “Dude, I just make things I think are cool. Please buy one if you like it too.” It was nice though with all these tibetan prayer flag type things and this jazz trio that was stuck up about 25 feet in the air. They were a jazz trio but I swear they were more influenced by “Shine on you Crazy Diamond” and “Dark Side of the Moon” than anything else. Then I walked home and everybody was pouring out of the pubs after England had tied their match in the Word Cup.
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