chase the light

Went out hunting for food and walked by a bookstore that was having a discussion and signing by the writer [James Ellroy]. Oooo that could be interesting. It was starting in just a few minutes so I picked up a copy of his book, ‘The Black Dahlia” and grabbed a seat. He came out and started spewing forth a great fragmented flow of words and thoughts that for some reason all made sense. I wished I caught the first three minutes of what he said on tape but he settled in and came around to how he wrote “The Black Dahlia”. A snippet of audio starts with a list of his books and ends with him referring to his parents living near the murder scene… [JAMES ELLROY AUDIO CLIP]

Funny thing is that on my commute home from work I pass by a little theater called “The Black Dahlia”. For a split second I think about the murder. This happens almost every night and has for the past 5 years. So, it’s been on my mind in the oh so smallest way. But it’s there. The Black Dahlia, the Black Dahlia, the Black Dahlia…. Unfortunatley the crime scene photos pop into my head too. So we’re now on the verge of a little Black Dahlia hype as Brian De Palma has directed the film version of the book and it comes out Friday. It will probably revive a bit of interest in what was probably the first sensational tabloid covered murder. I actually don’t think the movie will do well because of the subject matter. But, it’s De Palma and it’s 1940’s Los Angeles. Could be a reeeeal purdy film.

Ellroy will probably forever be remembered as the writer of the sparkling “L.A. Confidential”. He said he will never write a contemporary novel and all his future masterpieces (books) will always be about Los Angeles. He constantly referred to his next book as a masterpiece and the one after that even more of a masterpiece. Ha ha, cocky bastard. He also doesn’t own a computer, a TV, a microwave, a cell phone, and a whole range of modern conveniences. He even writes his novels out long hand. All that and his mother was murdered, which he also wrote a book about. He’s a bit of and odd bird actually, but perfectly so. So Ellroy read about fifteen minutes of the prologue and it was pretty fascinating to hear how he would read his own words. I had read the same passages while I was waiting for the event to begin and will probably now read it in my mind more like he read it. It actually made more sense in his fragmented writing and speaking style as I was trying to read it more linearly.

I doubt I’ll make it through the book before I see the film, but now I’m kinda looking forward to it. James Ellroy yes, but I’ll probably skip next week’s Tracey Ullman event that’s going on at the book store.

[Kokomo Cafe]: Swiss and provolone cheese with pureed chipotle chilies, grilled on sourdough, served with fire roasted tomato soup. $8.95. Ask for an extra little side of the chilies and dip the edges of the sandwich in while eating. On a cold blustery night it’s cheese-a-rific. Head on over to the Farmer’s Market and pull up a stool at the counter. Maybe you’ll see me with my soup and cheese sandwich. Look for the guy taking pictures of his food.

Big party day today. Hit an early one then headed over to Brigitte’s for her baby shower and then ended up at Andrea’s 40th birthday hoedown. Hadn’t seen any of this group of friends in ages so it was great to see everybody. Jenny and Craig threw a big hoedown at their new house which is just insanely nice and tailor made for hosting parties. There was even a bison! I’m not even sure where you get a bison, but there was one there. Along with a teepee, a covered wagon, hay bales, catered bar-b-que, a shooting gallery. Out of control and total fun! They totally out did themselves and I couldn’t have been happier to be there. It seems like most of the parties I go to these days I’ll only know a handful of people. Mostly because there are a lot of friends of friends and it’s a know who know kinda thing. I knew everyone at this party because it was all close friends! And a bison.

For some reason no one seemed to think I was going to show up?! Am I that aloof? Ha ha! If the party’s within a 20 mile radius I’m there. Try to get me down to Orange County though and you’re going to have to pull some teeth.

(Hi Jen, you made it on the website.)

Setlist: Stinkfist – The Pot – 46 & 2 – Jambi – Schism – Rosetta Stoned – Right in Two – Wings for Marie – 10,000 Days – Lateralus – (interlude) – Vicarious – Aenema

So, where to begin. I like Tool. Like the band, like the music, like the whole vibe around them… But jeez the blind rabidness of some of its fans has left me hard pressed to find anyone giving a somewhat even handed review of the show. All sorts of blogs, journals, Flickr posts and such are so overwhelmingly effusive of the show something’s just not right. Someone, somewhere had to dislike the show??? Where could they be? Oh wait… it’s me this time! I’m the dissenting voter!

So hey, guess what? Tool sucked! One of the most boring live bands I’ve ever seen. If you want to see Tool just perform their music live, go have fun. But if you want to see a show, a performance, an all out entertaining night at a concert. Just say no to Tool. (God, my Show Bros. are going to kill me. They’ll never invite me with them again.) Anyway, they suffer the same thing a lot of musicians musicians bands suffer from. A boring stage presence. Rush… boring. Yes… boring. They’re too busy performing the music, which is great, but it doesn’t make it a great show. Maynard, the singer, never left a 10×10 square ft area of the stage all night. He said 5 words the whole time, “Hello Los Angeles” and “Thank You”. From song one until song eight it could have been a giant billboard of the band and I wouldn’t have even noticed it there were live people on the stage. They just stood there. Hey Tool guys? Anyone up there, hello?? Finally about 2/3 of the way through a real light show kicked in but really it was mediocre too. So many people call Tool a heavy Pink Floyd, but come on, you want to see a light show and trippy graphics, just go see Pink Floyd. They’re boring in concert too, but that light show… wow. Tool just needs to really Bon Jovi it up a bit. Ha ha! Come on rock out a bit!

The opening band was called Isis. Lame and crappy sounding. I’m sorry, but I grew up in the seventies and there was a show called The Shazam and Isis hour on TV and you probably shouldn’t call your band Isis for that very reason. The sound in Staples is absolutely horrible. A muddled mess and I have to seriously reconsider any more live shows there. I’ve seen three there and the sound at each was mediocre. The Pond in Anaheim, awesome. Even the Forum is pretty damn good. Staples… what? What? I can’t understand you?? Sorry, the sound is bouncing off all those sky boxes 100’s of times so I can’t hear what your saying. Stupid Staples Center, not liking you. I gave up on Isis and walked around Staples Center for awhile. Since I rarely get there I just sort of people watched and grabbed a bite to eat. I came to another conclusion, there’s a high asshole quotient at a Tool concert. I’ve never seen so many people that just looked liked they were assholes. Weird observation, but very noticable. I also picked up some ear plugs from guest services. If you’re not wearing earplugs at a concert like Tool, you’re freaking insane. Hear that ringing in your ears for the next 24 hours? Think it’s funny and you’re all studly… That’s your hearing slowing dying. You don’t get it back. I’m serious. Earplugs and sunblock. Your two best friends.

Ok, so, I cut my losses at the little interlude before the last two songs and said goodbye to my friends. I headed out to my car only to discover it was blocked in!!! You idiots!! The reason I parked in your lot was you had spaces! It’s not like the Hollywood Bowl or something! Oooo, I was pissed. Forunately all the cars that were blocking me were the cars of all the workers from the parking lot. So they scrambled around, collected their keys and I was on my way. Ok, cool, thanks, whew. Beat all the traffic and got home by 11:30.

Fired up iTunes and listened to a little Tool before falling asleep.

I got nothing. So here’s my dog. She would have been 28 this year had she been immortal. I still occasionally have dreams about her. She was named Chestnut because we got her for Christmas in 1978. She was born in October during the World Series between the Yankees and the Dodgers. In 1979 I took her through training but had to miss her finals because my Dad took me to see the original King Tut exhibit at the L.A. County Museum. My friend John took her through the finals and she still came in first place in all the obedience tests. I came home and she had a little gold trophy. She was a pure bred Samoyed but had no papers and she cost $75 from a Samoyed breeder in Orange County. She didn’t bark, but talked like most Sammys. She once caught a bee and her mouth swelled up so much she looked like a duck. One time at the beach she was playing along the waters edge and was facing inland looking at me. A huge shore break wiped her out and she never again went anywhere near the ocean. I felt bad at first but then had to laugh later when she still seemed all confused at what had happened. Since she came from the husky type of dog she loved to pull. I’d put her long leash on and grab my skateboard and she’d pull me around the neighborhood until she pooped out. I have video of her over the years but it’s really hard for me to watch.

Went to the cemetery because I was kinda bored, it was nice out, and I always wanted to check out the Hollywood Forever Cemetery during the day. So what the hell. I’ve only been there for the movie screenings at night. I like that every headstone has a story. Even if you don’t know it. I also went over to the cemetery in Westwood. Sitting near Marilyn Monroe was a little old lady on a bench. She asked me if I knew why Marilyn’s crypt was so dark and I told her probably from all the people touching it and kissing it. Which made sense to her and then she started pointing at different crypts and telling me who they were. “See that one? That’s Ross Hunter. He was dating Frank Sinatra’s something something something…. That one over there? He was… And she was…” She was funny, so I walked her over to Dean Martin and she got all excited. Then she started telling stories about him. Earlier she said she was the same age as Ross Hunter, so looking up his bio, that would make her 86. Her family came and got her which then made me realize why she might be there.

Previously… in lazy teenager mode I went to bed at my normal time on Friday night, woke up Saturday at 7:00am, fell back asleep until 12noon. Went and got lunch. Fell back asleep on the couch from 4pm til 7:30pm. Went to bed at 11:30pm and then woke up at 8am Sunday. 20 hours of sleep in 32 hours of time!? What the hell was with all that?!? I NEVER do that. I’ll take it though. Because today I feel Fan-tastic!

The infamous stencil grafitti artist [Banksy] hit L.A. recently. It feels odd to seem honored that he’d come here all the way from Bristol, UK and paint up the town! Ha ha! He even got rid of the previous stencil of a maid sweeping stuff up under the wall and put up a new one in it’s place. I’d been hearing that there was one over by the Beverly Theater so I went to check it out tonight. One of his rats is there and a new one of an old lady regarding myspace. Great! The best is still his placing of bogus art installations in the museums in New York.

So, as I was standing next the the Beverly Cinemas there was a double feature of two Robert Altman films. Nashville and Brewster McCloud. What the hell, I’m here and haven’t seen either of them. Brewster is one weird ass film, but I loved it. Although 5 hours of sitting in those chairs at the Beverly is just sheer torture. The double features there are always so good though that it’s worth it. I also picked up the listing for the [World 3D Festival] that is going on in September at The Egyptian Theater. 10 days of classic 3D films from the early years. Can’t wait. You should go.

I had to work a few hours on Saturday so I rode my bike. I try to ride my bike more days than I take the car but it’s been so hot around here lately the lure of air conditioning in the car has been to great. Today was beautiful, so I strapped my video camera to the bag racks on the back and rode into work. A 25 minute commute compressed into 3 minutes. I wish it would go that fast but then again the benefits would be nil. So, video, my commute, some Tom Waits, and complete abuse of iMovie sound effects to the point that my movie editing license should be taken away. Don’t drink and edit. For some reason, it all works. And that’s what matters, right?

I went over to the [Arclight] theatre today to see the film [Little Miss Sunshine]. Our posh movie theater in town with none of those before film commercials and reserved seating. Great because you can show up just minutes before a movie starts and have the seats you selected rather than the front row. Love that place. Anyway, Little Miss Sunshine, great great great film and the very moment Alan Arkin comes on screen is just awesome. He’s the best. It has every indie film cliche in the world and it gets a little slap sticky at the end but whatev. It looks like the film was shot within a 100 mile radius of Los Angeles and includes quite a few nods to L.A. landmarks like [Dinah’s Famous Chicken] restaurant and [Pann’s Coffeeshop]. The ending is shot up in Ventura substituting for Redondo Beach. I only know that because I’ve driven by the railroad bridge and hotel that make an appearance in the climax of the movie. My cousins live a few miles from it. Also watch out the rear of the van as they’re traveling along the highways. You’ll see a cop car following behind them straddling lanes to keep the traffic from behind him getting in the shot. You can even see one of the many cop car shots in the [trailer at 2:04 secs]. Heh heh, just sayin’.

Before I went in though they were setting up the red carpet for a premiere of the animated film [Barnyard]. Hmmm… can’t remember who’s voicing that but I’ll check when I come out. Went in, watched Little Miss Sunshine, GREAT. Go see it. As I was walking out the whole red carpet premiere is going off so I walk up to the edge and look around and Andie MacDowell is standing right in front of me! Hilarious! I have such a movie star crush on her from Sex, Lies and Videotape, Green Card and Groundhog Day. Another great Andie MacDowell moment is in the film Short Cuts, or maybe it was The Player, when Andie Macdowell, Roddie McDowell and Malcolm McDowell are all on screen at the same time. Funny little Altman moment.

Back to celebs at movie premieres… about 5 minutes later Courtney Cox comes strutting on by with hubby David Arquette and she goes inside the theater and then comes back out and comes over to me. I’m thinkin’ she knows a handsome bastard when she sees one! Ha ha ha! Weird L.A. moments for sure. Yep, just another day in my silly little city!

All that and Mel Gibson completely lost his alcoholic marbles in Malibu this weekend. Whoa, whatever it is, it’s hittin’ the fan on that one.

Just one of the things I’ve been working on. Combining natural elements fused with portraits. Not sure where I’m going with it but it’s relaxing to just play around with.

The moment I took this photo I was in Pirate Hell. So there are these theme restaurants that are the breeding grounds of the Devil himself. I agreed to go to one to see if it is truly awful. Well, it’s truly awful. Ha ha! The latest is this pirate themed one and I have no experience with the other themed ones like Medieval Times, but they all must completely suck if they’re like this. A few weeks back friend Rachel called me up and said a small group was going to try this new one out and at the very least it might be some kitchy fun. So without much thought I said yeah I’m in.

So we meet up, you go in and have to mingle about in this confined bar/appetizer station/gift shop area for about an hour and be annoyed by all these people that are so into it they also come dressed up as pirates. Ed. note: I really was going to try and let down my guard and have a good time! But already with the “aarrrrring” and the “aye aye mateys” it was just too much to handle! So I buy my $14 drink with pirate souvenir cup and start to mingle around. It’s self billed as “The Most Interactive Dinner Show in the World”. Ya know what, I should have known right there I’d be miserable. Ha ha ha! Dinner and interactive don’t always go together. Especially if pirates are involved. Just let me eat in the peace and quiet of the darkness and watch the show you damn pirates!

We have seats in the yellow section and finally our yellow pirate shows up with his yellow flag, we show our yellow cards, he leads us to our yellow seats and there’s a sad looking limp salad waiting for us. Which fortunately wasn’t yellow. After a little wait the show starts and it’s pretty bad right out of the gate! Who knew it was some third rate broadway musical type show with lousy tunes and horrible looking 70’s rock band looking pirates? We were all having a good laugh at how bad it was and trying to think of elegant ways to explain this to our friends later. They also brought our food which was a piece of chicken and beef or shrimp.

The story was something along the lines of six pirates, a captain, a first mate, a wenchy wife, a princess and a gypsy girl. Oh, and some other dude who fell in the water and escaped. The captain (Captain Black) needs a new first mate so a series of contests are held and our yellow pirate just suuuuucked! The whole show he never won anything so we just booed our own pirate all night. Besides that, in his yellow and black he looked like a dumbass bumblebee flying around on the ropes and planks. Stupid yellow pirate! The captain and his wenchy wife’s son is blue pirate. Somewhere along the line blue pirate falls in love with the princess (in white) and the all the other colored pirates finally see the captain is kind of an ass and all fight for her hand in marriage. At some point they all scatter and the princess is about to be shot and blue pirate comes back and saves the day. He brought Redcoats with him (what?) and they attacked the ship and Captain Black and wenchy wife were shackeled up and hauled off. Need to mention that crowds of people were recruited from the audience to be extra pirates and Redcoats and such. The End.

After the show we all commiserated out front and laughing at the horrible spectacle we just saw. So, the Pirate Adventure dinner thingy in Buena Park. Um, yeeeeah… if you have some dental work that needs to be done I’d look into that first. Damn, and I really wanted this to be fun! Probably just best for the kiddies.

3 films, three days. Caught the three major animated films that are out there right now by the three major studios. “Cars” by Pixar, “Over the Hedge” by Dreamworks and “Monster House” in 3D by us at Imageworks! Go Imageworks! So how’d they fair? Well, I can honestly say without being biased that Monster House was a love fest! Awesome! In 3D too! I actually had fairly low expectations for Monster House as I hadn’t seen anything in the trailers that really caught my eye. There is soooo much more going on in this film than what’s in the trailers. Love that they kept their cards hidden. Very interesting look but I wish there was motion blur even though they were going for a stop motion look.

Next was “Over the Hedge”. Hmmmm… characters are way too frantic and fast talking. That’s become a run of the mill animated staple and it’s getting way old. And the moral message of sticking by your friends and blah de blah blah. The story is slight. It’s nice looking but the voice talent was really weird. Garry Shandling? Bruce Willis? William Shatner? That’ll draw some adults in say the 40-50 year old range. Weird choices.

Then came Cars. Pixar knows how to make pretty images but this was quite a drop in, um, lets use “interestingness”. The stories are alway nice and layered, but the main character in this one is so unlikable I was actually thinking of ways I would kill him off. Make him burst into flames as he sits in a hot parking lot, he could drown in a car wash, an animated Harold from “Harold & Maude” could drive him off a cliff at the end of the movie. etc. I was thinking this stuff while watching the film. Not a good sign. But I did sorta kinda liked it.

So, I’m going to go with a huge thumbs up on Monster House, especially if you see it in 3D. A tentative thumbs up for Cars and and thumbs down for Over the Hedge. As for the key art posters… Monster House wins again.

SPEAKING OF ANIMATED FILMS! Woo hoo! The website for the film I’m currently working on went live today! BEOWULF!!! Who knew?! Not a lot to see, there’s text and fire and music and and and, well that’s it…

Why is it called the FX Follies of 2006? 70 Years ago, Our Gang (The Little Rascals) produced a short called “Our Gang Follies” of 1936. In this early short, the gang put on a show for their neighborhood, it was a big success and a lot of fun. Amazingly enough, these old time kiddie comedies along with Laurel and Hardy and others were filmed only one block away from Imageworks. Hal Roach studios was located just west of the corner of National and Washington Blvds and unfortunately was demolished in the mid 60’s. There is a plaque underneath the big tree on the corner that commorates this great comedy powerhouse of the 20’s and 30’s.

Len cracks me up in the video. He could care less what you think, he just does. A true ham.

Three things to do this weekend. One of my roomates from college was having a birthday thingy on Saturday afternoon, Saturday night was FireFest. Then on Sunday was hang out time with Keith and Shelli and go into the city to Jens for a little birthday feast for a friend of hers.

First thing I went into the city and saw the Golden Gate Bridge was fogged in so I ran over and took some photos. Had lunch at La Cumbre in the Mission district. Next was birthday party one for little Keith, roommate from college. He’s little Keith. Big Keith is who I’m staying with. There’s a bout a foot difference between the two, hence the designation. He’s still just a kid at heart and actually had a giant two story inflatable water slide in the backyard for the party. Ha ha, that guy will be 80 and will still be playing with the latest toys. I haven’t seen him in a few years and he didn’t know I was going to be there. Totally surprised and cracked up that I was there. Good times.

After a bit of time over there I headed back into Oakland and met up with Keith and Shelli. We quickly headed out to dinner in Berkeley. The real highlight of the weekend though was where we were going afterwards. FIREFEST!! “It’s like Burning Man but smaller and not in the desert and only $35.” -Big Keith. Before going up I checked out what might be happening up there and sure enough, I had missed this last year, but in a total coincidence it was happening this weekend. Picked up tickets for everyone and off we went. It was INCREDIBLE! I can’t really write anything to do it justice but just watch the video. Standing just feet in front of a tornado of fire and an arcing, crackling, snapping tesla coil is pretty damn scary. Just watch.

Sunday morning we got up and headed into the city. Jen was having a birthday soiree for her friend Kevin and was cooking. Which is always a reason to go by itself. Kevin has been recovering from a major motorcycle accident so it’s good to see he’s getting out and on the mend. The food? Rock n’ Roll! So good! Go look at food and people…

Good to get up to San Francisco with nice weather. Last time at New Years the place was practically drowning in water and blowing away in the hurricane like wind. Nasty.

I just remembered how funny it is how much some people from San Francisco hate their city to be called Frisco. It’s a total abomination and their eyes roll back in their head and they practically lose their breath. You only hear people from outside of the Bay Area calling it Frisco so don’t call it Frisco to it’s face. I don’t since it’s my second home. They will however fully embrace Otis Redding singing the name “Frisco” in “Sittin’ On The Dock of the Bay”! So now that I’m 400 miles away… Frisco, Frisco, Frisco.

Good planning and a bit of odd luck landed me a crazily cool night. Every Tuesday I get my little Flavorpill email about events going on in Los Angeles for the week. I got the last one on the day I got home from holiday last week. So I quickly scanned over it and what’dya know a show by Sierra Swan at the Viper Room. Oh cool, been meaning to catch her live at some point. Right below that is a trivia question to win tickets to the show! Hell ya bring it on… The question: “The Whooper Swan is the national bird of which country?” Well, of course it’s Finland. I mean, who doesn’t know that, right? So I send off my answer and the next day… Winner! Sweet, free tickets to Sierra Swan!

Oh shit, wait a minute I have Pearl Jam that night too! Oh no, ha ha, ok… gotta figure this out. Well it says Sierra doesn’t go on until 11pm so that’s my break right there. Ok, I’ll leave work at normal time, get to The Forum for Pearl Jam and just hang out before going in because I don’t really like Sonic Youth. Then at the encores I’ll leave and jet across town to The Viper Room to see Sierra Swan. Hopefully she’s running a little late.

First off Pearl Jam, this is the 4th time I’ve seen them so it’s not really a huge deal but when I bought my ticket I got blocked out of the first show on Sunday and while I was fiddling around with Ticketmaster a second show was added right under me. So I nabbed a seat for that one but only had a vague idea where my seat was. Somewhere next to the mixing console, which to me is the best seat in the house because that’s where you get the best sound. Anyway, I get to the Forum and go through security and all and wait for Sonic Youth to stop being boring and once the lights are up I head to my seat. As I get down to the floor the guy thinks I’m in the wrong section and motions for me to follow him. ??? We keep walking and walking and pretty soon I’M SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW?! I shit you not! I’m totally cracking up because I know this isn’t right and he’s even put a mark on my hand to indicate I’m in the right area. Ha ha ha, ok whatever! One of the front stage security guards can see I’m totally confused but thinks I didn’t realize I had such good seats, so he’s kinda laughing at me. So I’m hanging out a bit and I finally just ask the guy who was laughing at me and he looks at the ticket and confirms that I’m supposed to be back by the mixing board, but he didn’t care and was totally cool and just let me chill. Even Dennis Rodman is sitting BEHIND me. Funny. So finally the lights go out and holy shit I’m in the front row at Pearl Jam! Ah ha ha! Nice! It was great but really I just wanted to hang out and watch the show and everybody in the front is going apeshit. So finally 3 songs in some other higher level security guy just randomly asks for my ticket and I show him the mark on my hand but he realizes something got f’d up. He was cool though and just asked to show me to my real seat. Which was actually fine too since I had to leave by encores anyway. So really I got the best of both worlds, I got to see the band blast out on stage for the opening three songs and then enjoy the rest at a comfortable distance with great sound! Awesome!

At some point I up and bailed and got to my car and was out of the parking lot in record time. I flew down La Brea to Wilshire, to San Vicente, to Sunset and bam I’m there! 24 minutes all the way across town! I get parked and walk up to the doorman and tell him I’m on the list, he cheacks and lets me in and 3-4 minutes later Sierra Swan comes on and does a great show! Hilarious! I actually enjoyed Sierra more than Pearl Jam because I’m kinda burnt on them.

Sierra ends her set and since I’m only 6 minutes from The Viper Room I’m able to get home before midnight and into bed I go! Whew, crazy busy for a school night.

Had lunch with my parents today. We went over to The Grove to Wood Ranch and watched the World Cup. We had started watching the game at my house but then at half time we were starving and I knew they’d have the game on at the restaurant. So we wandered over and finished the game over there. Walked around a bit and I noticed Ed Burns was going to be at the Apple store at 4pm.

After my parents left I went back over to the Apple Store and listened in to what he had to say about filming on a shoestring budget. It was kind of interesting, but the downside is every time they have one of these Apple events it’s always a big product placement ad “blah blah blah Apple this, Apple that, Final Cut, iMovie, G5, flat screen monitor, OSX, etc. Gets a little much, but it’s kinda cool they invite people to share the stories of how they work. Still kinda hot out, looks likes it’s going to be a long hot summer.

Every year at Mugs Away Saloon in San Juan Capistrano a bunch of crazy bikers (and others) get together and moon the trains that go by. It started as a bar bet when a guy offered a beer to anyone who would go moon the Amtrak train as it went by. 26 years later and the free beers are no longer offered but there are plenty of people still putting their asses against the chain link fence whenever an Amtrak train flies on through. 30 trains were scheduled to go by during the day and I got there at 12:30 when the temp was about 104F/40C. Ouch, very hot. The downside/upside of this was a lot of toplessness was happening! As I was leaving one woman was completely naked and spread eagle in her beach chair while cameras were clicking away. Not a care in the world. In conservative Orange County it’s kind of a unique event and even the police look the other way on this day.

Woke up at 9 this morning and got home about 5pm. For some reason I only lasted about an hour before falling asleep for 4 hours. Even went back to bed at 1am and slept through the night. Weird.

Man, the last two days have been like an episode of The Amazing Race. I thought this morning was going to be a breeze getting to the airport. The airport is supposed to be 15 minutes away by train. Flight’s at 9:55, but Jill thought it was 9:30. Not sure where she’s getting these numbers but I’m glad she’s been wrong on the last two. So we get on he tram to get to Central Station and it takes a little while. It’s 8:30 and we still have to catch a train. So we ditch the train idea and just hop in a cab. The cabbie starts driving around the perimeter road of Amsterdam before getting on the highway that is GRIDLOCKED! ARGH!! Our flight LEAVES in 40 minutes and we’re no where near the airport! Ugh, I’m tired. So as we’re sitting in the traffic the guy fesses up and says, “Normally I work the night shift so I had no idea it gets so backed up.” Oh jeez, why, why why???! Ha ha ha, new problem, we’re sooo not going to make the flight. Maybe with the 2 hour layover in London we can catch a later flight.

Fortunately the traffic finally breaks free and the cabbie’s hauling ass now and we actually get to the airport with a short amount of time. Then bonehead cabbie drops us off at British “Midland” Airways and not British Airways. We’re doing the whole OJ Simpson thing through the airport and finally get to BA and we’re able to express check-in AND the flight isn’t until 9:55! OMG THANK YOU!! Something in our favor. We still have to get through customs and all the security but we have enough time to quickly grab a bite to eat and then get to the gate. Didn’t have time to change the Euro money though. Whew, sitting on he plane and on our way to London.

Landed in London and the nightmare of Heathrow has begun. We land and our terminal is 4 but we have to go to terminal 1 to fly to LAX. Heathrow is the size of a big country and has security and customs lines every 20 feet. Anyway, almost an hour later we get to the other side of the country of Heathrow. I have a few minutes so I cash in my Euros for Pounds and buy a huge bag of candy to get rid of the last of my money. Onto the plane we’re three rows from the back of the plane and I watch “8 Below” & “The Shaggy Dog” on the way home. Uneventful flight home.

After going through customs and baggage claim we catch a cab back to work to pick up our cars. On the way there it smelled so good out as everyone was having bar-b-ques for the 4th of July. What an exhausting final two days. And that was the European Tour 2006. Must sleep now.

For a day that was supposed to be a nice trip out to the country and back it seriously turned into the most problematic day of the trip. See, there’s this monkey zoo, and they let monkey’s roam free and interact with you if the monkey choses too. So I looked up the webpage and voila, the stop on the train is Amersfoort. Oh, I know where that is because we stopped at the station on the way in and I even wrote about it. Here’s a little problem, we rented the bikes for two days from Mac Bikes which has three locations in the city, but our flight out of Amsterdam is early in the morning before the bike shop opens. So we have to return the bikes before closing tonight. No problem, we’re leaving early enough and should be back by maybe 1pm or 2pm. We ride the bikes to Amsterdam Central Station, lock them up and buy the tickets for the train. We wait for about 1/2 and hour and finally the train arrives and we’re whisked off to Amersfoort. 45 minutes later, which is weird because it was supposed to be about an hour and 15 minutes, we arrive and get of the train and I’m kinda expecting to see a little sign or something that says Monkey Zoo this way or take this bus to this place, yadda yadda yadda… Nope nothing. I go back in ask the Information desk guy, who was really really nice and he says “Oh yeah the Zoo is down that road make a right, cross the train tracks, make a left and you’ll come across on the left hand side. You can’t get lost it’s easy. 15 minute walk!” Then he says, “It’s small but it’s the most beautiful Zoo we have, at least we think so!” Oh cool, that’s sounds great I’m thinking.

It’s kinda hot is what I’m also thinking. I have my backpack and a few cameras so I’m a little loaded down for walking but head out. The walk really wasn’t that bad but when you don’t know where you’re headed you question how far you’re going. So we finally arrive and it looks like a little zoo, lots of pictures of elephants, and zebras, and birds but not a single picture of a monkey. Hmmm… maybe the monkey part of the zoo is just incorporated into the main zoo. Something certainly doesn’t seem right. Anyway, finally go ask the girl standing out front, “Is this the Monkey Zoo?” Which coming out of your mouth sounds really stupid. Long story shortened, it’s not the freakin’ Monkey Zoo!! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!! Where the hell is the freakin’ Monkey Zoo?!? She says the Monkey Zoo is in Apeldoorn. Ugh, what?! That means we have to get back on the train and go farther. First I’m not walking back to the train station so we waited for a bus to go by and picked it up. Then once back at the station we had to wait again for the SAME TRAIN WE WERE ON AND PAY THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY to go another 1/2 an hour into the country. It’s no longer a cheap day return at this point so this monkey zoo better be good. What are they odds that we would get off at a station that also has a zoo? Apparently pretty good.

We finally get to Apeldoorn and no sign of the monkey zoo. Crap. Something be easy today, please. I asked one guy and he says oh yeah the Monkey Zoo is about an hour walk or quick by bus or cab. Ugh, I’m soooo not walking. Anyway, asked a few bus drivers which bus to get on and they kept saying number 3 to Apenheul. Well the only one that looked close was labeled Ahuel. Which is not Apenheul if you ask me. But it was short for Apenheul and the driver confirmed it so we hopped on that and in about 15 minutes we arrived at the damn Monkey Zoo.

To be continued when my blood pressure lowers…

Ok, so where was I… We finally get to the Monkey Zoo and get our tickets. There’s a beautiful arboretum that surrounds the zoo and was really nice to walk through. Got to the gate and you have to remove everything out of your pockets and leave behind any bags because the monkeys will steal almost anything. I’ll keep it short. The Monkey Zoo is pretty cool. Look at the video.

So… now that we wasted all this time getting to the place and actually spending a few hours there we have to make our way back to Amsterdam. Which is now an hour and half away. It’s 3:00 and we have to turn the bikes in at 5:00pm. That’s according to Jill. I was thinking it was 5:45pm but wasn’t positive. So we come out of the park and grab a quick bite and I’m keeping an eye on the road for the bus. We go out to the street and the bus finally comes and we take it back to the main station in Apeldoorn. The bus of course is on a loop route so it takes its sweet time meandering through the little town. We get back to the station and people get off the bus and start running. Hmmmm… Over at the station is a train but we have no idea which one it is. As we get over to the crossing we have to wait for that very train to leave and go by before crossing to the station. We get up on the platform and realize that was the 3:28pm train we HAD to be on! Uh oh. Ok, when’s the next train. Half an hour, no problem I’m wishfully thinking. Half an hour goes by and still no train with Amsterdam Central written on it. Hmmm, checked the board again and really find out the train is another half an hour away. SHIT! We’re screwed! our flight leaves at 9:30am tomorrow, which is before the bike place opens, and we’re going to miss turning in the bikes tonight so we have to figure something out. FINALLY the train arrives and I’m not anywhere near Jill at the moment but I see her get on farther down the platform. I mistakenly got on a 1st class car and had to get off to walk down to a 2nd class car. Then the train pulled away and I walked through about 4 cars before coming to a dead end and I never saw Jill. More uh oh. About a half an hour later we stopped back at Amersfoort and I’m at one of the doors and a women starts detatching the train car I’m on. What? I ask her quickly and she says the part I’m on is going to Schipol, the airport. Ha ha ha this is nuts! OK, I hurry off and jump ahead one car and we start rolling. I walk through a couple cars and find Jill reading a book. She had no idea where I was either.

At this point at least we’re only 45 minutes from Amsterdam. That puts us at the station at 5:30, well past the bike rental place’s 5:00pm closing time. I’m still hoping I saw 5:45 correctly. That would only leave us 15 minutes to get the bikes unlocked and jam across town. We arrive at the station and knowing we don’t even have time to get the bikes I suggest we run over to the Mac Bike place that’s right near the station first to see if they’re open then to see if we can return the bikes there instead of the other one where we rented them. They are open so we go in and run up to the counter and we’re huffing and puffing trying to ask the guy behind the counter if we can bring the bikes there because we missed our train, our early flight in the morning, the other one’s too far away, blah blah blah… He gives us the look over and unfortunately takes a shine to me. Ya see, he’s what you call, gay. So he starts to mess with us by asking questions. He asks where we’re from. Then he asks Jill if her favorite color is pink. She says no, and he says, “Wrong answer!” Shit, he’s gonna be a dick. Then he asks if we live near West Hollywood. Jill says well in the area and then he asks her what her favorite city is. She answers something and he says, “Wrong answer!” Shit, Jill, get a clue he’s queer as the day is long! Answer his questions! I blurt out, “My favorite color is pink and my favorite city is West Hollywood!” He smiles and says “Correct!” We plead with him again about the bikes and he looks at me and says, “Well, he is kinda cute.” (Oh for God’s sake this is getting uncomfortable but I’m still playing along) He finally relents and says “Go get the bikes!” So we run back to the bikes, get them unlocked and haul ass through the traffic and maze of trams going by. Just as we arrive back they’re shutting the doors.

We bring the bikes in and there’s some guy who lets us in and doesn’t get that we just talked to this guy that said it was OK to bring the bikes there. Frick, this is getting out of control. We wave down the guy and he says yeah, it’s no problem and comes over and starts totally checking me out. I mean like just staring at me for like 20 secs and smiling away. I’m actually kinda freaked out at this point. Like, is he really thinking something is going to become of this? Anyway, he’s having a hell of a good time making me uncomfortable and knowing it. So we go back to the counter and he says, “no she can’t bring her bike back, she didn’t answer the questions right”. WYF!?!? You’re kidding me! Right then I almost blurted out “Screw you dude, I’ll deal with this some other way!” But I think he saw me get agitated and said it’s fine he’ll take care of it. After that things went smoothly and he really lightened up and was very nice. He was always nice he just finally stopped messing with us. So Jill paid with her credit card and then he asked if we were married and we said “No, we’re just friends, we work together.” Oh man, he smiled really big and looked over at me and said “Even better…” Oh man, this guy just won’t let it go. So after we’re done doing the paper work and finally ready to get out of there he says, “Hang on I have something for you.” Oh no, now what? He reaches into a box on the counter and gives me a bell for my bike. Ha ha ha… really all I can do is laugh and thank him. I guess today was all about a gay angel hoping to get his wings. I took my newly earned bell and as we made our way to the door he sincerely told us to have a nice night and enjoy our stay in Amsterdam. Whew, glad that’s over. So thank you gay bike fellow for helping us out of a jam. Now we can catch our flight out in the morning without having to deal with these stupid bikes. And that was the very long winded description of the hectic day.

Then we ate at an Italian restaurant and went back to the hotel and packed. Crazy day but he Monkey’s kicked ass.

Got up this morning and rented some bikes to cruise around the city. Great way to get around, you never have to wait for trains or buses, just hop on and you’re there in a few minutes. Amsterdam’s so small all the main sights are within 10 minutes of each other by bike. I wanted to check out this little art thing that goes on everey Sunday but it kinda sucked so didn’t spend but a few moments there. Then off to the museums, first the Van Gogh museum then the Rijksmuseum. The Van Gogh would be good if you’re really into him and I’m not so it was just OK. Only 1 or 2 real classics in the collection. Van Gogh’s like Madonna to me. I’m mildy ok with the hits but the rest of the catalogue, blech. Anyway, only for the hardcore, but then you probably know everything thing there is to learn at this museum anyway.

Then walked over to the Rijksmuseum which I really liked but was much smaller than I had envisioned. Lot’s of Rembrandts and three Vermeers. Three of around 35 total, which is saying a lot. After the Rijks we walked back over to the adjacent park and sat by this shallow pool for about an hour. Kids were swimming and people were sleeping all around it. Kinda nice. Not sure I personally would swim in what looked a bit dodgy on the bacteria side, but whatever. It was really warm today so there were lots of people out having a lazy Sunday.

Grabbed some ice cream and then unlocked the bikes and headed back to hotel and walked to dinner. The closest place to the hotel was little cafe that had tables on the water so we grabbed one and had a pretty good dinner. Another slow moving day.